Top 80 Funny Quotes Which Are Going To Make You Laugh

funny quotes

Have you heard people saying laughing is the best therapy and the healthiest one too? Well, every other person loves to laugh or giggle some form or the other. People tend to rely on the one who make them happy or can put a smile on their faces. A research shows, adults laugh on average 10-12 times a day and children on the other hand, tend to laugh hundred times more.

With that been said, everyone should laugh not just because they are happy. However, laugh to feel happy. There are funny quotes that just not humors or inspirational or sarcastic but the one that can instantly make you smile or chuckle.

Let’s move forward with these hilarious quotes that surely make you hold your stomach.

A Quotes Which does Make You Cry Is a Funny Quotes

The above saying is from the famous writer name Paulo Coelho who is known to be the spiritual writer that describes it’s though in a sarcastic way that is also somehow funny at times.

We know quotes can be serious at some point, however the one here mention are the collection of humor, sarcasm, humorous by celebrity that are famous.

“If you are too open mind your brain will fall out”

 Lawrence Ferlinghetti

“I am not lazy I am in energy saving mode”

Anonymous

“I am not lazy I am waiting for the inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now”

Anonymous

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quite! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers”

 Simpsons

“My bank balance is the constant reminder that I am safe from identity theft” Anonymous

“Don’t talk to stranger well, how am I supposed to make friends”

Teenager Post

“Follow diet, diet doesn’t follow, unfollow diets”

 Anonymous

“My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life”

Anonymous 

“Cinderella is the proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life”

Noortje de Bijl

“Why do we feel relief under a blanket? It’s not like some murdered will come and think I am gonna kill you, ohh wait you are under a blanket…”

Anonymous

“Wearing a turtle neck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all day”

Mitch Hedberg

“What’s Adele’s favorite dessert’s jello from the other side?”

Maria Monrovia

“What did Taylor Swift say to the melon? Look what you made me dew!”

Maria Monrovia

“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades”

Demetri  Martin

“In the most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way”

Tina Fey  

“Don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results”

George S. Patton

“I think my neighbors stalking me as she’s being googling my name on my computer. I saw it through my telescope last night”

Anonymous

“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?…he’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes”

Billy Connolly

“ If you think you are too small to make a difference try sleeping with a mosquito”

Dalai Lama

“Light travel faster than sound. This why some people appear bright until you hear them speak”

Alan Dundes

Funny Inspirational Quotes That Might Motivate You In A Thrilling Way

These funny quotes do make you smile and flush out all your worries just for a second. So, why not look at it just once.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing-that’s why we recommended daily”

ZigZiglar

“Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door”

Kyle Chandler

“The brain is a wonderland organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office”

Robert Frost

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I release I should have been more specific.”

Lily Tomlin

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying”

Oscar Wilde

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”

Steven Wright

“Money won’t make you happy… but everybody wants to find out for themselves”

ZigZiglar

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing”

Will Roger

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work”

Robert Orben

“Knowledge knows a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad”

Miles Kington

“When life gives you lemon, throw the lemons back at life and demand to see life’s manager”

Anonymous

And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do”

Michael Scott

 “I, understand- nothing”

Michael Scott

“Dreams are like rainbows… only idiots follow them”

Anonymous

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time”

Joe Girard

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day”

         Winie the Pooh

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia”

        Charles Schulz

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he want to do it”

                     Dwight D. Eisenhower

         “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book”

               Grouncho Marx

“You have to be odd to be number one”

DR.Seuss

Funny quotes about life that Make You Motivated again

“Life is a pain anyone who says otherwise is selling something”

Wiliam Goldman

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them and you’ll have their shoes”

Jack Handey

“The blurred image around your phone is called life”

Anonymous

“If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It is lethal”

Paulo Coelho

“Graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults”

Louis Nizer

“The average man does not know what to do with his life, yet wants another one which will last forever”

Anatole France

“Old people at weddings always poke me and say “you’re next”. So, I started doing the same thing at funeral”

Anonymous

“Life is like a roll of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment”

Rudyh

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone”

Anthony Burgess

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by”

Douglas Adam

“Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You’d have a chance at least.  You could lie there thinking: Well, at least I’m not dead”

Tom  Stoppard

“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television”

Woody Allen

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through. You either have to laugh got cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache”

Anonymous

“Money is the opposite of weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it”

Rebecca Johnson

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific”

Lily Tomlin

“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”

Woody Allen

“You add meaning my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet”

Unknown

“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth”

Anonymous

“When nothing goes right in your life, improvise and go left”

Anonymous

“Part of the secret of success in life is eat what you like and let the food fight it inside you”

Mark Twain

Funny love quotes that make you live yourself more

If love is in the air everything seems like flying or dancing with you. These funny love quotes do make you laugh and smile and also jump up in the air just like you first love.

“I want someone to look at me the same way as I look at chocolate cake”

Patricia

“I say I love you with my belly, I would say heart but my belly is only getting bigger”

Anonymous

“What the world needs is more and less paperwork”

Pearl Bailey

“A guy knows he is in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days”

Tim Allen

“You are never alone on a Valentine’s Day if you are near a lake and have bread”

Mike Primavera

“True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked”

Erich Segal

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are”

Will Ferrell

“I wish falling in love had traffic lights too, so that I would know if I should go for, slow down or just stop”

Anonymous

“Stop waiting for prince charming. Get up and find him.  The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something”

Anonymous

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life”

Anonymous

“Marrying a man is like buying something you have been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else”

Jean Kerr

“Love is the only kind of fire that is never covered by insurance”

Anonymous

“You’ll know a person is in love when he can laugh like a fool by himself and keeps a smile plastered on his face all day long”

Anonymous

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you are looking for, go live with a car battery”

Emma Bombeck

“Just for the sake of it, try to love someone as unlike as you as possible”

William T Vollman

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties”

Jules Renard

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on the X rays, but you know it’s there”

George Burns

“You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body”

Anonymous

“Love is pretty much the seventh sense of our body that destroys all other six senses”

Anonymous

“Getting into a relationship may seem tempting, but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there”

Mary Linda 

Funny Christmas quotes | Create laughter with your love ones!

‘Christmas eve’ is here again to give us joy of relief and happiness to spread and gifts to share. But there are things we all can share together funny Christmas quotes that can cherish your event with a spread of laughter.

“I feel sorry for Jesus. It’s always tough when your birthday’s Christmas Day”

David Corrado

“My worst Christmas? One Christmas morning, I woke up, I ran into the living room and my mother said, ‘I just forget”

Rob Burton

“I never believed in Santa Clause because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark”

Dick Gregory

“Christmas at my house is always more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone is seeing only one Sant Clause, we’re seeing six or seven”

W.C Fields

“Christmas is truly full of wonders. It makes all of my saving disappear! That is the Christmas magic”

Scott Nguyen

“Christmas is the baby shower that went totally overboard”

Andy Borowitz

“I am the reason Santa has the naughty list”

Donald Kenneth

“Dear Santa just leaves your credit card under the tree”

Timothy Joss

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live”

Frank Larry

“I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I want for Christmas is you” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough”

Bridger Winegar

Funny office quotes makes your workplace ambiance more fun

“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day”

Phyllis Diller

“I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back”

Joey Adams

“I like work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours”

Jerome K. Jerome

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one”

Oscar Wilde

“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito”

Betty Reese

“By working faithfully 8 hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day”

Robert Frost

“The best part about going to work is coming back home at the end of the day”

Unknown

“Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job”

Unknown

“That one person at work who thinks he can do your job better…. When he can’t even do his own”

Raymond

“If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was smarter”

Albert Grant

“The world is divided into people who do things—and people who get the credit”

Dwight

Funny Graduation quotes for 2019

“Now that you’ve graduated just remember: bosses don’t usually accept notes from your mother”

Melanie White

“Thought graduating was tough? Wait till you get a Boss”

Joe Roger

I didn’t go to college, nut if I did; I would’ve taken all my tests at a restaurant, ‘because the customer is always right”

Mitch Hedberg

“A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad”

Amy Poehler

“Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And they can do it, so can you”

John Green

“At graduation you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it”

Greg Tamblyn

“Graduation: a ritual event where they award you a diploma, in the hope that you have learned enough to be able to read it”

Unknown

“It doesn’t matter that your dream came true if you spend your whole life sleeping”

Jerry Zucker

“Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated”

Erma Bombeck

“As you graduated today don’t forget to thank those who got you here Google, Wikipedia, red bull and copy paste”

Albert Patrick

Wrapping up

Isn’t it funny to read such quotes and make your day a wonderful day? People look for these quotes, Memes or famous hashtags to bright there mind and spirit up with all the stress and tension going on lately. The students constructing the informative essay writing they usually add a glimpse of funny quotes that attract the reader and make them stop at each given saying one by one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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